The Proud Franchise

Amar'e [and Mickey] on Melo

Oh, Fanhouse. You know you's sho' liz wrong for this shit.

Have we not the decency to avoid following Amar'e Stoudemire around while he's taking his babies to see Mickey Mouse? Is nothing sacred anymore?

Greg Oden Cannot Be Cock Blocked

 

Could this be the lady friend Greg Oden is sending lewd pictures to?

Earlier this week, there was an outrage over pictures of Oden's member posted on the internet--which has caused Enzyte stock to skyrocket.

I Dream of Rubio

The Don is at it again.

There are reports from a certain New York publication that Donnie Walsh still has his eyes on a certain 19 year old from Spain. No, the pedophilia laws in Spain are not more lenient for older, upper class Caucasian males. Walsh is still looking for ways to acquire Ricky Rubio, the Spanish prodigy originally drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves.  

Knicks Consider Jumping the Gun?

According to Chris Sheridan from ESPN's True Hoop Blog network, Donnie Walsh did not dismiss the possibility of the New York Knicks trading for Gilbert Arenas.  

Now I have to ask two questions:

Knicks to Finally Free Darko?

See what I did there?

Is it just me, or do we get a juicy Darko Milicic-to-Knicks trade rumor at every important market juncture?

[Wayyy] Inside The NBA: Western Conference Finals Game 6 [Video]

Just because it belongs here...

There will be many more such videos in The Proud Ones' repertoire.

I Didn't Know Chad Ford Liked to Get Wet

The Worldwide Leader thinks The Proud Franchise is going to pass on Jerryd Bayless for the Olive Garden special.

Russell Westbrook ain't the only guard that can take it to the rack.

The final installment of Chad Ford's Mock Draft says Danilo Gallinari's gonna be dead in the middle of Little Italy. Little did he know we're ain't picking a middle man who wouldn't do diddly.

Are we?

I mean it's not like we've ever passed on the sure thing in favor of an overhyped Euro prospect before, right?

Okay, maybe Chad's not on the Sherman Hemsley. Maybe he just knows the Knicks.

XXLMag.com | Negro Please: Shaq Just Kidding, Doesn't Care to Know Ass Flavor?

“You know how I be.
Last week Kobe couldn’t do without me.
You know how I be.
Last week Kobe couldn’t do without me.

I call myself ‘Big,’ but I’m not as good as Biggie.
I call myself ‘Big’ ’cause I live next to Diddy.
Excuse me. Diddy lives next to me.
So in the hood, dog, I feel like Big.
‘Cause if Biggie was still here
He would be right there.
On Star Island in a mansion somewhere
Chillin. Sittin on about half a billion.
Cuz me and Gunz combine shit. That’s half a billion.
For real dog, Now that’s BIG.
And can’t nobody in the world do it bigger than me.
That’s like a white boy trynna be more nigga than me.
That’s like a homeless man havin more figures than me.
That’s like Patrick Ewing havin more rings than me.
That’s like rappers havin cars… things than me.
That’s like you sayin to yourself you better than me.
That’s like Kareem sayin to hisself he better than me.
Now stop. Think about that.
It ain’t about that.
It’s about BIG AKA Big Shaq.
Now, that’s the difference between first and last place.
Kobe. Nigga. Tell me how my ass taste.

Okay.
Kobe, tell me how my ass taste.
Okay. Everybody.
Kobe, tell me how my ass taste.

I’m a horse.
Kobe ratted me out.
That’s why I’m getting divorced.
He said Shaq gave a bitch a mil.
I don’t do that. ‘Cause my names ‘Shaquille.’
I love ‘em. But I don’t leave ‘em.
I got a vasectomy, now I can’t breed ‘em.

Kobe, how my ass taste?
Everybody. Kobe, how my ass taste?
Yeah!

You couldn’t do without me.
Kobe, you couldn’t do without me.
Kobe, you can’t do without me.
Everybody. Kobe how my ass tastes?

Yeah. You can’t do without me.
Yeah. You can’t do without me.
Yeah. You can’t do without me.
Everybody! Kobe…

Crowd: Tell me how my ass taste!!!

Yeah. Thank you. Brick City in the building.”

-Shaquille O’Neal, Freestyle @ Village Underground

I thought a transcript might prove helpful for anyone (like myself) who may have undergone a little shell-shock watching Sunday night’s installment of the newest Negro Channel reality program, Shaq Fu: Can’t Stay Away.

BET cameras lazily follow Shaq around malls, strip malls, strip clubs, club clubs and pep rallies… all while he should be preparing for the upcoming season.

Obviously Black Announcer: This week, The Diesel pops some shit at Kobe.

Couldn’t you see it now? It’d be just like Keyshia Cole’s shit. Wayyyy better than College Hill.

(Continue reading "XXLMag.com | Negro Please: Shaq Just Kidding, Doesn't Really Care to Know Ass Flavor?")

A People's History of Suffering

New York magazine has a step-by-step booklet as good as any "[blank] For Dummies" regarding the New York Knicks' perpetual embarrassment. "Absolutely, Positively the Worst Team in the History of Professional Sports" is Jeff Koplon's 7-page tirade on the most recent stage of the once-proud franchise's descent due to cancer of the heart, brain and testicles. The shit is brain food for any confused Knick observer.

In other words, if you don't quite understand why we're so pissed here, "Mr. Koplon's Opus" will provide some solid background.

Long live the hate!

Good work, Jeff. The Knicker Lovers here at TPF salute you.

(Did I link that shit enough times for you, homie?)

Labels: jeff koplon, new york magazine