The Proud Franchise

The Week in Knickerdom

I am very close to a decree indicating that I am in no way, shape or form involved in any Knickerdom.

Last night's 121-91 blowout loss to the Minnesota Timberwolves punctuates what may very well be the New York Knicks' descent into the abyss. Walt Clyde Frazier often describes the Knicks as a "a team that cannot handle prosperity." His assessment holds true on many levels, as exhibited by The Proud Ones having blown a 22-7 first quarter lead. They allowed a 16-4 run to end the opening period and finished the half down 49-46. But, you knew why type of party this was going to be with about 3 minutes left in the first period.

Knicks 78, Dallas 1,284,657

At least, that's what the score may as well have read. I'm not even going to lie to you. I don't know what the end of this game looks like aside from the NBA.com recap.

Today marked the first time I'd turned off a New York Knicks basketball game in disgust during Mike D'Antoni's coaching tenure. While a loss is a loss whether by 1 or 100, The Pro--... ummm... Shamed Franchise truly made me embarrassed to be a Knicker Lover for the first time in forever this afternoon.

Halfway through the third quarter I said to myself, "Fuck this ho-ass shit," and turned to the Jets game. They lost too. Awesome New York sports day, right?

Knicks 99, Detroit 91

...and Brother Martin smiles on The Proud Ones yet again.

The New York Knicks stop the bleeding for now, taking advantage of a Richard Hamilton/Ben Gordon/Tayshaun Prince-less Detroit Pistons 99-91 to split the Dr. Martin Luther King, jr. Day weekend home-and-home.

Knicks 104, Raptors 112 + Knicks 90, Pistons 94

Can you tell the difference between the two nightmarish New York Knicks losses this weekend?

There's "respectable final score" L number one...

...and, there's number two. Hark! 'Twas a shitty weekend, indeed.

I love Eli Zaret's suit. He looks like he'd just come in from a long day at the track. Also, the Detroit Pistons haven't changed their graphics since Rodney Stuckey was Joe Dumars.

[Blogger's Note: Blasphemy, I know.]

Knicks 93, Philadelphia 92

The New York Knicks edged the Philadelphia 76ers 93-92 last night in a battle of heavy-hearted frontcourt anchors.

While David Lee and Samuel Dalembert both had much cause to hit the sauce, it's the NBA.com recap guy who sounds drunk.

Knicks 88, Oklahoma City 106

--And it really wasn't even that close.

What the geeky highlight reel monitor fails to mention in his Knick-friendly recap is that The Proud Ones were devoid of energy and played absolutely zero defense. While he wasn't the only culprit tonight, I call it [David] Lee-fense.

OKC KOs Knicks

What?  This was supposed to be easy.  With the Knicks, it never is.

Chandler, Cockface Shine in Vegas Summer League Opener

By Ronaldo Horacio Mexico, Dissociated Press Writer

LAS VEGAS - First round selection Danilo "Il Gallo" Gallinari sidestepped a Darko-like first quarter to post an impressive debut as the New York Knicks defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers and extended their Vegas Summer League-leading win streak to 6 games.

Last season's Vegas Summer League MVP, Nate Robinson, was not in attendance due to nagging baby mama issues.

[Editor's Note: Vegas Summer League win-streak and championship defense are the only positive news stories surrounding Knick Universe at the moment.]

It's Always Bummy In Philadelphia

Apparently The Proud Ones left all of their fight along the watery sidelines in Washington D.C.

After the most inspired five minutes of basketball the Niggabockers have played in this post-Ewing apocalypse, the team proceeded to cough up the booty butt cheeks to the tune of a 124-84 loss at the hands of the Philadelphia 76ers; a team who had lost to the lowly Minnesota Timberwolves the night before.

--To which a T-Wolves fan would be obliged to respond: "Who the fuck you callin 'lowly,' Knicker lover?"

At least the T-Wolves have an excuse for their record. Kevin McHale still works for the Celtics.

On the heels of having absolutely ravaged the Washington Wizards on their own home floor in the extra period less than 24 hours earlier, "Zeke's Boys" dragged themselves up I-95 only to take the arena floor with the demeanor and effort of an 8th grade B team mired in an 11-game losing streak.

Alright, that's not fair to say either. My 8th grade basketball team would never have turned the ball over 15 times in the first quarter. We'd have been running stairs until graduation.

Just as suddenly as they had found it behind David Lee's war cry of "Now we workin'," the Knicks left their collective heart in Chocolate City. With the NBA trade deadline looming, Knicker lovers everywhere have to wonder if coach and team prez-oh-dent Isiah Thomas' fingers will be working telephone lines in hopes of improving the bedeviled roster with yet another misguided deal of some kind.

I'd be looking into what it would take to pry Andre Miller and/or Samuel Dalembert from the... oh, wait.... nevermind. Those guys play for the division rival 76ers who have proven with a 30-point average margin of victory at the Wachovia Center that they don't need so much as a thimble's worth of anything the Isiah Thomas is selling.

Led by man of faith, Rickety Cricket, the Knicks still expect to both participate in and win the NBA Finals. Co-signed by Rhodes' Scholar finalist, MENSA member, house negro and historically sound decision maker, Magic Johnson, we should expect to see the Knicks and Los Angeles Lakers battling it out for league supremacy in June.

I guess Zach Randolph is our Charlie. I dunno. You could really label almost anyone on the roster as such.

I'm gonna cast my wager and prediction early. Ronnie says Knicks in six, dammit!

I'll do you one better. As a result of a lost bet (and rampant gentrification in Central Harlem) Magic will be forced to put a matching Starbucks Coffee on 116th Street.

Labels: andre miller, boston celtics rickety cricket, david lee, isiah thomas, kevin mchale, los angeles lakers, magic johnson, minnesota timberwolves, patrick ewing, philadelphia 76ers, samuel dalembert