The Proud Franchise

Chao ab Ordo

By now you've all heard of Donnie Walsh's departure as president and general manager of the New York Knicks. Walsh cites health and concerns about the length of his commitment as the primary reasons for his departure, but we all know that's complete dog shit. [Blogger's Note: Like Isiah Thomas' insistence that he does not want the big chair back.]

 

Unfortunately, a class act like Walsh chose to lie with dogs to save our wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked ship from sinking. I can imagine he's ready to return home to Indiana for a well-deserved flea bath.

More than anything Walsh provided an air of stability and order to The Garden that had not been present in over a decade. For once, Proud Ones finally felt as if someone with some damn sense had control of the reigns. Knick fans no longer awaited the newest sex scandal, lopsided trade or albatross free agent signing. Instead, we looked to the future and believed that while James L. Dolan was still owner, the behind-the-scenes turmoil that categorized recent years had at least been momentarily quelled. I actually feared for the future prospects of this site, as Walsh's new regime provided less and less tabloid cannon fodder by the day.

I'm thinking stock in Knicker Lover hate is about to spike. That is not a reference to the director/superfan.

Giving Thanks for .500

 

The first three wins during this five-game streak have come against clearly inferior teams. However, the last two wins over the Charlotte Bobcats and former coach, Larry Brown, have been satisfying.

Three the Hard Way II: Rise of the Sexual Predator

Before we discuss the New York Knicks' three-game win streak, we'd like to report a recent nationwide Amber Alert for this youngster:

His name is Timofey Mozgov. Born: July, 16 1986. Age: 25. Last seen: Los Angeles, California, United States. He answers to "Timmy," "Tina Fey," "Moz," "Drago" and "Boris." He loves basketball and is usually seen wearing a New York Knicks jersey, as they are his favorite team. Please call your local authorities if you see him.

We're also on the lookout for the man believed to be involved in his disappearance:

 

Footage from a recent attack has surfaced and gives reason to believe that Blake Griffin (above) may have absconded with little Timofey shortly after this weekend's contest between the Los Angeles Clippers and the missing child's beloved Knicks.

The Zombie Apocalypse is Upon Us

By now, we all know that Wilson Chandler inadvertently bit David Lee in the arm and lost a tooth in the process. However, Lee hasn't played a single game since then.

Hmmmm.

Three the Hard Way

Wilson Chandler's desperation heave from just behind the arc sailed long and off to the right, putting the kabash on a dramatic, inspired New York Knick comeback against the surging Golden State Warriors.

Ill Will's miss to end regulation was a mere microcosm of The Proud Ones' current three-game losing streak. During the comeback from 19 points down, it appeared as if the Knicks had realized that they need not depend on the long ball for survival--especially when, with the exception of Andris Biedrins, the Golden State Warriors have exactly zero players interested in interior defense. During their ascent, the Knicks had miraculously figured out how to attack the paint. As anyone who has ever played organized basketball knows, a few baskets dropping induces confidence--a critical aspect of making shots.

New York Knicks 112, Washington Wizards 91 Game Notes



Gilbert Subpoeans was watching the game live from Madison Square Garden at Section 313. Shoutouts to Eminem and everyone at 8 Mile. The Proud Franchise would also like to give a shoutout to my boys, Ben and Eric. They are season ticket holders who are very willing to sell tickets to your boy, so I can see the renaissance live and in person. Anytime I attend a game this year will probably be because of these two fine gentlemen, so I want to give them a TPF salute.

Now, on to the notes!

New York 120, Chicago 112 - Game Notes

Is Korver trying to get his hands on the Cock?!?! Read more to find out!!

Boston 105, New York 101

Some notes on last night's game:

Amar'e [and Mickey] on Melo

Oh, Fanhouse. You know you's sho' liz wrong for this shit.

Have we not the decency to avoid following Amar'e Stoudemire around while he's taking his babies to see Mickey Mouse? Is nothing sacred anymore?

Knicks Sign Andy Rautins

The New York Knicks signed the first of two 2010 NBA Draft second round selections that made The Theater at Madison Square Garden collectively say, "What the FUCK?!?!?!"

Because we are little more than glorified message board dweebs, The Proud Franchise will welcome Andy Rautins the best way we know how--with someone else's YouTube mix of his finest moments in orange.

...And the Lord Heard Their Prayers

Obviously, I speak of Isiah Lord Thomas III, who listened ever so carefully to your cries and has acted accordingly. Thomas rescinded his acceptance of a part-time consultancy position with the New York Knicks on Wednesday.

D. Lee Speaks On Freaky Zekey

The New York Daily News--AKA Lupica 'n Nem--reports that former New York Knick David Lee doesn't exactly give Isiah Thomas the old Gator Chomp for his managerial competence.

Dolan Owns the Knicks, But Isiah Owns Dolan

As reported on Friday, the New York Knicks re-hired Isiah Thomas as a consultant. At the same time, he will also remain as head coach of the basketball team for Florida International University.

Wait... What?!

Yet Another MSG Fast One

What's wrong with this Knicks.com front page picture?

[Hint: It's not Amar'e Stoudemire's Photoshopped Knick jersey.]

Don't worry. I'll point it out for you.

Happy Birthday, Cockface!

Go! Go! Go, shawty. Issha berfday.

8/8/88: A date which will live in infamy.

The State of Knickerdom

Greetings to all ye Knicker Lovers, Proud Ones, skip-skaps and scollywhops alike.

As you may have observed, somebody (*cough cough* me) finally figured out how to use Photoshop around this motherfucker.

Yep. The Proud-- The Proud Franchise is back!

Gallo Wants LeBron

...and my little sister Tameka wanted a pony in the projects. So the fuck what?

Who the hell doesn't want LeBron James on their team? I mean--aside from Joakim Noah, of course?

An Exercise in Futility

No. I haven't been on suicide watch. I've actually come to expect this much awful from the New York Knicks. The shit doesn't even hurt anymore.

Tonight's Yahoo! front page only gets yesterday's debacle half-right. I watched [some of] this shit [before watching the first half of UNC's warrior training]. The Knicks didn't lose to the league-worst New Jersey Nets. They were demolished. Adding insult to the simultaneous knee and back injury that is losing by 20 to The Bad News Bears of basketball, The Proud Ones set a three-point shooting futility record.

An Evening of Legendary Proportions

We've forgone the Tracy McGrady welcome entry to be cornily titled Return of the Mac. Despite an auspicious beginning to McGrady's Knick career, the game itself surely spurred Mac 10 handle-esque evenings for many a Proud One.

Oh, word? Just me? Well, nevermind then.

Tonight the New York Knicks celebrated their annual Legends Night, which I can only assume will honor the same handful of guys for as long as it continues. Last year's Legends Night saw an appreciation ceremony for  Willis Reed, Carl Braun, Richie Guerin, Walt Frazier, Tricky Dick McGuire, Bernard King and Patrick Ewing. Tonight's affair celebrated the 1970 championship team the only way The Proud Franchise knows how to, with a deflating 83-67 loss to the Milwaukee Bucks.

Malik Rose: Fashion Assassin

Aside from performing nightly verbal homicide on what should be solid post-deflating loss coverage, Malik "Stammer Man" Rose has apparently been killing the clearance rack at Syms.

David Lee: 2010 NBA All-Star

When I found out David Lee would replace Allen Iverson on the 2010 Eastern Conference NBA All-Star roster, I was very happy for the young man. I also thought the selection made sense and that he deserved to be there. As of now, I'm not so sure.

Aside from "this feeling," the one thing my heart is sure of is that David Stern left dozens of threatening messages on Iverson's Boost Mobile voicemail. Now if only Kevin Garnett can have a tizzy with one of his secret illegitimate baby mamas, Josh Smith can get himself a spot as well.

At any rate, Lee is finally an NBA All-Star. Whoop-dee-fuckin' doo, Proud Ones. Maybe I'm a little jaded, but I'd like to think a team with an All-Star on it doesn't take a massive shit, place both feet into the toilet bowl and pull the flush handle.

Trading the Franchise: Jared Jeffries

Real GM has a pretty solid piece on possible trade scenarios for the New York Knicks' current franchise player, Jared Jeffries.

It's been posted for an entire week now, but given Knickerdom's recent rough stretch and the fast-approaching February 18th trade deadline, we might as well openly discuss such matters.

I must preface by mentioning that I began this season thinking Jeffries' increased playing time was, in fact, a trade showcase. He's long since won me over with his inspired play. Jeffries has finally begun to realize the potential that ballaholics and scouts saw in the Indiana University standout/freak of nature/1-5 position player back in 2002. Nearly every notch on the Knicks' meager win total is a direct result of his emergence as either a defensive catalyst or an agent of offensive cohesion. At this point I have to give him his due as the The Proud Ones' most important player.

Yes, I am aware that David Lee plays for the same team and missed an All-Star berth by a toenail's distance.

Knicks 107, Washington 85

This game was not as entertaining or disparate in team play as the final score would indicate. Ask the uninterested NBA.com recap guy. Sure, he always sounds like they snatched him out of a sports bar and put him in front of a microphone. But, that's not even the point.

The Caron Butler-less Washington Wizards Knicked away a 9-point third quarter lead, allowing Nate Robinson to have his way with an uninterested defense. New York's Lilliputian led The Proud Ones to a 22-point victory--a quick reversal of fortune from what just as easily could have been a defeat of the same margin.

Get 'Em, Gallo!

Barring timely injury to an Eastern Conference All-Star forward or center, second-year forward Danilo Gallinari and Nate Robinson will serve as the New York Knicks' only representation in Dallas for the 2010 NBA All-Star Weekend. They'll be performing in ancillary events.

R.I.P. Tricky Dick

Knick legend Dick McGuire passed away today of natural causes at the age of 84.

The seven-time All-Star spent eight of his 11 NBA seasons with the New York Knicks, leading The Proud Ones to three consecutive championship series. McGuire also coached the Knicks in the mid 1960s and, according to Bloomberg.com, has been involved with the team on a professional level for 53 of its 64 seasons.

Farewell #15. You've definitely done us proud.

The Larry Hughes Beard-In

Why, if you don't trade me, buy out my contract or reinsert me into the rotation I'll... umm...

According to the New York Daily News, disgruntled Knicks guard Larry Hughes has pledged to turn scraggly facial hair into his own personal Woolworth counter. Like a tree planted by the water, he shall not be moved.

Spot the Knick: Al Harrington

Can you find Al Harrington in this video?

Hint: He's sporting Raggedy Ann braids against his natural hairline.

The Week in Knickerdom

I am very close to a decree indicating that I am in no way, shape or form involved in any Knickerdom.

Last night's 121-91 blowout loss to the Minnesota Timberwolves punctuates what may very well be the New York Knicks' descent into the abyss. Walt Clyde Frazier often describes the Knicks as a "a team that cannot handle prosperity." His assessment holds true on many levels, as exhibited by The Proud Ones having blown a 22-7 first quarter lead. They allowed a 16-4 run to end the opening period and finished the half down 49-46. But, you knew why type of party this was going to be with about 3 minutes left in the first period.

I Dream of Rubio

The Don is at it again.

There are reports from a certain New York publication that Donnie Walsh still has his eyes on a certain 19 year old from Spain. No, the pedophilia laws in Spain are not more lenient for older, upper class Caucasian males. Walsh is still looking for ways to acquire Ricky Rubio, the Spanish prodigy originally drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves.  

Knicks 78, Dallas 1,284,657

At least, that's what the score may as well have read. I'm not even going to lie to you. I don't know what the end of this game looks like aside from the NBA.com recap.

Today marked the first time I'd turned off a New York Knicks basketball game in disgust during Mike D'Antoni's coaching tenure. While a loss is a loss whether by 1 or 100, The Pro--... ummm... Shamed Franchise truly made me embarrassed to be a Knicker Lover for the first time in forever this afternoon.

Halfway through the third quarter I said to myself, "Fuck this ho-ass shit," and turned to the Jets game. They lost too. Awesome New York sports day, right?

2010 NBA All-Star Starters Cause Uproar

 

TNT unveiled the 2010 NBA All-Star starting rotation this past Thursday. You can see the 10 finalists above.

Many are clamoring over Allen Iverson making the All-Star game as a starter and how he doesn't deserve to make it. We at The Proud Franchise are not upset over AI's inclusion in the mid-season classic. Iverson helped usher Hip Hop sensibilities into the NBA landscape. In terms of press, he has become one of the league's more under-appreciated players because of it. Also, let's be real. Only good things can come of AI in an exhibition game. No, we are not mad at that.

Stephon Marbury: China's Finest

Stephon Marbury's retirement from basketball has come to an end, Proud Ones. Huzzah!

The former NBA All-Star has signed with the Shanxi Zhongyu Brave Dragons of the Chinese Basketball Association. According to Yahoo! Sports, Marbury will earn a reported monthly salary of $25,000--a stark contrast from the $21 million he earned last season in the NBA.

Marbury's sacrifice in salary may not be just another weed-induced lapse in judgment. He expects to market his Starbury line of shoes and apparel to China's... umm... ginormous population.

Revenge of Eddy Curry

Doesn't this picture encapsulate how every Knicks fan feels after hearing about the latest Eddy Curry injury?

Knicks 99, Detroit 91

...and Brother Martin smiles on The Proud Ones yet again.

The New York Knicks stop the bleeding for now, taking advantage of a Richard Hamilton/Ben Gordon/Tayshaun Prince-less Detroit Pistons 99-91 to split the Dr. Martin Luther King, jr. Day weekend home-and-home.

Knicks Consider Jumping the Gun?

According to Chris Sheridan from ESPN's True Hoop Blog network, Donnie Walsh did not dismiss the possibility of the New York Knicks trading for Gilbert Arenas.  

Now I have to ask two questions:

Knicks 104, Raptors 112 + Knicks 90, Pistons 94

Can you tell the difference between the two nightmarish New York Knicks losses this weekend?

There's "respectable final score" L number one...

...and, there's number two. Hark! 'Twas a shitty weekend, indeed.

I love Eli Zaret's suit. He looks like he'd just come in from a long day at the track. Also, the Detroit Pistons haven't changed their graphics since Rodney Stuckey was Joe Dumars.

[Blogger's Note: Blasphemy, I know.]

Oklahoma City Local News [Rightfully] Clowns Knicks

The New York Knicks really played themselves with that ghost excuse shit. Now we have to deal with that biting Oklahoma City satire.

Like I mentioned in our initial coverage, it had to be Eddy Curry--as if he was in any danger of seeing game action. Of course, Oklahoma City media and locals can't clown the Knicks without clowning themselves.

Magic Johnson Denied Knicks Tickets

Just getting caught up on the week's stories. So, simma yuh bloodclaaat poom poom.

Yahoo! went full-World Star on that one.

Meanwhile, it's RealGM's coverage of the Magic Johnson ticket debacle that takes the condom--I mean, cake. I love how Johnson tries to play the whole shit off to save face. You just know the nigga called Madison Square Garden like:

"Hey. Yeah, umm. It's Magic. Listen... Don't worry about them tickets I was axing for. Me and Candi--I mean, Cookie... We gonna go see Alva Tar at the 'Me' theater in Harlem."

Knicks 93, Philadelphia 92

The New York Knicks edged the Philadelphia 76ers 93-92 last night in a battle of heavy-hearted frontcourt anchors.

While David Lee and Samuel Dalembert both had much cause to hit the sauce, it's the NBA.com recap guy who sounds drunk.

Knicks Blame Haunted House for Ghastly OKC Loss

The house isn't haunted. You motherfuckers just hear the boos in your subconscious. It's gotten that bad for some of these guys.

The New York Daily News reports that several members of the New York Knicks were terrified by their temporary living quarters prior to a 106-88 loss to the Oklahoma City Thunder. Jared Jeffries and Eddy Curry even go as far as to say the team hotel was "haunted."

Wilson Chandler: Film Critic

I don't know why, but this is about the funniest shit I've ever seen.

I mean, fuck the article. It doesn't capture the essence of Wilson Chandler without that latch-key child stammer anyway. I'd much rather hear him talk about how much Mike Myers terrified him growing up.

Knicks 88, Oklahoma City 106

--And it really wasn't even that close.

What the geeky highlight reel monitor fails to mention in his Knick-friendly recap is that The Proud Ones were devoid of energy and played absolutely zero defense. While he wasn't the only culprit tonight, I call it [David] Lee-fense.

Happy New Year, Knicker Lovers!

I was going to make a long-winded apology and explanation for our hiatus, but none of that shit is really relevant. What does matter is that, 2010 finds our proud warriors at a crossroads. Gregg Popabitch and I have returned to help see you through what's sure to be a highly entertaining season. Granted, it won't be Isiah-era entertaining, but what could be more fascinating than watching Mr. Thompson work?

Oh, right. There's always Danilo Gallinari singing Beyonce's "Halo."

Sing that shit, cockface!

David Lee for Carlos Boozer?

I must admit that while I love reading incessant trade chatter, I don't like to comment on it like the rest of the Chatty Cathy sports media. I'm not saying they're wrong for doing their jobs or whatever, but if you refresh RealGM as much as I do, believing every entry will make you a very confused ho.

The Curious Selection of Jordan Hill

No. Not that one! The other one! The one with the nail in it.

Let's hope this Jordan Hill is as mature as he looks.

Knicks Acquire 29th Overall Pick from Lakers

According to DraftExpress.com's Jonathan Givony, the New York Knicks have acquired the 29th overall selection in the 2009 NBA Draft from the Los Angeles Lakers for cash considerations.

Knicks to Finally Free Darko?

See what I did there?

Is it just me, or do we get a juicy Darko Milicic-to-Knicks trade rumor at every important market juncture?

Al Harrington Has Made It... For Us!

Stephon Marbury ain't the only Knickerbocker with some cheap-ass shoes.

Al Harrington doubles up with $34.99 Protege jumpoffs... Exclusively at KMart, chillens.

Krypto-NATE!

The Proud Ones would like to congratulate our favorite Lilliputian on his second All-Star Slam Dunk victory.

That's right, Nate Robinson. Superman that ho.

Black Mamba Bites Back With 61

That's right. Yours truly, Gregg Popabitch was in attendance for a historic night at Madison Square Garden on February 2nd.