No. I haven't been on suicide watch. I've actually come to expect this much awful from the New York Knicks. The shit doesn't even hurt anymore.
Tonight's Yahoo! front page only gets yesterday's debacle half-right. I watched [some of] this shit [before watching the first half of UNC's warrior training]. The Knicks didn't lose to the league-worst New Jersey Nets. They were demolished. Adding insult to the simultaneous knee and back injury that is losing by 20 to The Bad News Bears of basketball, The Proud Ones set a three-point shooting futility record.
We've forgone the Tracy McGrady welcome entry to be cornily titled Return of the Mac. Despite an auspicious beginning to McGrady's Knick career, the game itself surely spurred Mac 10 handle-esque evenings for many a Proud One.
Oh, word? Just me? Well, nevermind then.
Tonight the New York Knicks celebrated their annual Legends Night, which I can only assume will honor the same handful of guys for as long as it continues. Last year's Legends Night saw an appreciation ceremony for Willis Reed, Carl Braun, Richie Guerin, Walt Frazier, Tricky Dick McGuire, Bernard King and Patrick Ewing. Tonight's affair celebrated the 1970 championship team the only way The Proud Franchise knows how to, with a deflating 83-67 loss to the Milwaukee Bucks.
Aside from performing nightly verbal homicide on what should be solid post-deflating loss coverage, Malik "Stammer Man" Rose has apparently been killing the clearance rack at Syms.
When I found out David Lee would replace Allen Iverson on the 2010 Eastern Conference NBA All-Star roster, I was very happy for the young man. I also thought the selection made sense and that he deserved to be there. As of now, I'm not so sure.
Aside from "this feeling," the one thing my heart is sure of is that David Stern left dozens of threatening messages on Iverson's Boost Mobile voicemail. Now if only Kevin Garnett can have a tizzy with one of his secret illegitimate baby mamas, Josh Smith can get himself a spot as well.
At any rate, Lee is finally an NBA All-Star. Whoop-dee-fuckin' doo, Proud Ones. Maybe I'm a little jaded, but I'd like to think a team with an All-Star on it doesn't take a massive shit, place both feet into the toilet bowl and pull the flush handle.
It's been posted for an entire week now, but given Knickerdom's recent rough stretch and the fast-approaching February 18th trade deadline, we might as well openly discuss such matters.
I must preface by mentioning that I began this season thinking Jeffries' increased playing time was, in fact, a trade showcase. He's long since won me over with his inspired play. Jeffries has finally begun
to realize the potential that ballaholics and scouts saw in the Indiana University
standout/freak of nature/1-5 position player back in 2002. Nearly every notch on the Knicks' meager win total is a direct result of his emergence as either a defensive catalyst or an agent of offensive cohesion. At this point I have to give him his due as the The Proud Ones' most important player.
Yes, I am aware that David Lee plays for the same team and missed an All-Star berth by a toenail's distance.
This game was not as entertaining or disparate in team play as the final score would indicate. Ask the uninterested NBA.com recap guy. Sure, he always sounds like they snatched him out of a sports bar and put him in front of a microphone. But, that's not even the point.
The Caron Butler-less Washington Wizards Knicked away a 9-point third quarter lead, allowing Nate Robinson to have his way with an uninterested defense. New York's Lilliputian led The Proud Ones to a 22-point victory--a quick reversal of fortune from what just as easily could have been a defeat of the same margin.
Barring timely injury to an Eastern Conference All-Star forward or center, second-year forward Danilo Gallinari and Nate Robinson will serve as the New York Knicks' only representation in Dallas for the 2010 NBA All-Star Weekend. They'll be performing in ancillary events.
Knick legend Dick McGuire passed away today of natural causes at the age of 84.
The seven-time All-Star spent eight of his 11 NBA seasons with the New York Knicks, leading The Proud Ones to three consecutive championship series. McGuire also coached the Knicks in the mid 1960s and, according to Bloomberg.com, has been involved with the team on a professional level for 53 of its 64 seasons.
Why, if you don't trade me, buy out my contract or reinsert me into the rotation I'll... umm...
According to the New York Daily News, disgruntled Knicks guard Larry Hughes has pledged to turn scraggly facial hair into his own personal Woolworth counter. Like a tree planted by the water, he shall not be moved.
Last night's 121-91 blowout loss to the Minnesota Timberwolves punctuates what may very well be the New York Knicks' descent into the abyss. Walt Clyde Frazier often describes the Knicks as a "a team that cannot handle prosperity." His assessment holds true on many levels, as exhibited by The Proud Ones having blown a 22-7 first quarter lead. They allowed a 16-4 run to end the opening period and finished the half down 49-46. But, you knew why type of party this was going to be with about 3 minutes left in the first period.
There are reports from a certain New York publication that Donnie Walsh still has his eyes on a certain 19 year old from Spain. No, the pedophilia laws in Spain are not more lenient for older, upper class Caucasian males. Walsh is still looking for ways to acquire Ricky Rubio, the Spanish prodigy originally drafted by the Minnesota Timberwolves.
At least, that's what the score may as well have read. I'm not even going to lie to you. I don't know what the end of this game looks like aside from the NBA.com recap.
Today marked the first time I'd turned off a New York Knicks basketball game in disgust during Mike D'Antoni's coaching tenure. While a loss is a loss whether by 1 or 100, The Pro--... ummm... Shamed Franchise truly made me embarrassed to be a Knicker Lover for the first time in forever this afternoon.
Halfway through the third quarter I said to myself, "Fuck this ho-ass shit," and turned to the Jets game. They lost too. Awesome New York sports day, right?
TNT unveiled the 2010 NBA All-Star starting rotation this past Thursday. You can see the 10 finalists above.
Many are clamoring over Allen Iverson making the All-Star game as a starter and how he doesn't deserve to make it. We at The Proud Franchise are not upset over AI's inclusion in the mid-season classic. Iverson helped usher Hip Hop sensibilities into the NBA landscape. In terms of press, he has become one of the league's more under-appreciated players because of it. Also, let's be real. Only good things can come of AI in an exhibition game. No, we are not mad at that.
Marbury's sacrifice in salary may not be just another weed-induced lapse in judgment. He expects to market his Starbury line of shoes and apparel to China's... umm... ginormous population.
...and Brother Martin smiles on The Proud Ones yet again.
The New York Knicks stop the bleeding for now, taking advantage of a Richard Hamilton/Ben Gordon/Tayshaun Prince-less Detroit Pistons 99-91 to split the Dr. Martin Luther King, jr. Day weekend home-and-home.
...and, there's number two. Hark! 'Twas a shitty weekend, indeed.
I love Eli Zaret's suit. He looks like he'd just come in from a long day at the track. Also, the Detroit Pistons haven't changed their graphics since Rodney Stuckey was Joe Dumars.
The New York Knicksreally played themselves with that ghost excuse shit. Now we have to deal with that biting Oklahoma City satire.
Like I mentioned in our initial coverage, it had to be Eddy Curry--as if he was in any danger of seeing game action. Of course, Oklahoma City media and locals can't clown the Knicks without clowning themselves.
Meanwhile, it'sRealGM's coverage of the Magic Johnson ticket debacle that takes the condom--I mean, cake. I love how Johnson tries to play the whole shit off to save face. You just know the nigga called Madison Square Garden like:
"Hey. Yeah, umm. It's Magic. Listen... Don't worry about them tickets I was axing for. Me and Candi--I mean, Cookie... We gonna go see Alva Tar at the 'Me' theater in Harlem."
I don't know why, but this is about the funniest shit I've ever seen.
I mean, fuck the article. It doesn't capture the essence of Wilson Chandler without that latch-key child stammer anyway. I'd much rather hear him talk about how much Mike Myers terrified him growing up.
What the geeky highlight reel monitor fails to mention in his Knick-friendly recap is that The Proud Ones were devoid of energy and played absolutely zero defense. While he wasn't the only culprit tonight, I call it [David] Lee-fense.
I was going to make a long-winded apology and explanation for our hiatus, but none of that shit is really relevant. What does matter is that, 2010 finds our proud warriors at a crossroads. Gregg Popabitch and I have returned to help see you through what's sure to be a highly entertaining season. Granted, it won't be Isiah-era entertaining, but what could be more fascinating than watching Mr. Thompson work?
I must admit that while I love reading incessant trade chatter, I don't like to comment on it like the rest of the Chatty Cathy sports media. I'm not saying they're wrong for doing their jobs or whatever, but if you refreshRealGM as much as I do, believing every entry will make you a very confused ho.
On Tuesday afternoon, Stephon Marbury chatted on ESPN.com with disgruntled New York Knicks fans, unfortunately desperate fans of the Miami Heat/Boston Celtics/Dallas Mavericks, and delusional Brooklynites.
Should-be All-Star forward David Lee had some choice words for the media hounds (and Shaquille O'Neal) following a 102-98 MLK Classic victory over the Chicago Bulls at The Garden.
By now you're all aware of Eddy "Mr. Fuck You Man" Curry's legal issues. I don't have to direct you to any local sports page report on the sexual harassment suit levied upon him by former chauffer, David Kuchinsky.
I also don't have to tell you that his thieving-ass, parolee driver is full of shit, right? I mean, this ain't exactly one of them dead-on Knickerbocker sex suits like Isiah's shit.
I didn't think it was possible. I never thought it could happen. No New York Knick fan could see this on the horizon. But my dream finaly came to fruition.
By Ronaldo Horacio Mexico, Dissociated Press Writer
WESTCHESTER - Nate Robinson has stopped Tootsee Rolling. The last maintenance worker's broom has been holstered. The gym lights at SUNY Purchase have long since been turned out.
In the cover of night the son of a legend works on his jumpshot--alone and in the dark.
"I used to bring one of those big yellow flashlights," said the mystery baller widely believed to be Patrick Ewing, jr. "I'd just stand it up to have just enough light to look around. The campus police always would come by... I'd barely make it out of some close ones."
By Ronaldo Horacio Mexico, Dissociated Press Writer
NEW YORK - Now an entire season removed from the crippling effect of Allan Houston's league-maximum $100 million, 6-year contract, the New York Knicks may elect to make room for yet another guard on their 20-man preseason roster.
Maybe New York Knicks GM Donnie Walsh should have just taken that second rounder for Zach Randolph.
Marcus Camby just got moved from the Denver Nuggets to the Knicks' only potential suckerLos Angeles Clippers for a switch of late-round draft picks that may ne'er need be switched. Stinging even more is that the deal takes effect in 2010, a year in which the Knicks have no draft selections of any kind.
By Ronaldo Horacio Mexico, Dissociated Press Writer
LAS VEGAS - First round selection Danilo "Il Gallo" Gallinari sidestepped a Darko-like first quarter to post an impressive debut as the New York Knicks defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers and extended their Vegas Summer League-leading win streak to 6 games.
Last season's Vegas Summer League MVP, Nate Robinson, was not in attendance due to nagging baby mama issues.
[Editor's Note: Vegas Summer League win-streak and championship defense are the only positive news stories surrounding Knick Universe at the moment.]
The Los Angeles Clippers want a Zach Randolph for a 2nd round pick? That's it?!?!
No, thanks.
Z-Bo might be a complete dolt with an albatross contract but he still has 20-10 ability. You don't just throw that away because you want to get under the cap. Apparently Big Donnie DOES have some sense. Elgin and DUNNleavy, step your game up.
When you're [orange and] blue... ain't got nothin to do...
Headed to the party life.
Let that Jigga run as you read along. It's today's theme music.
What Chris Duhon's going to provide at the lead guard position that Starburst doesn't is beyond me. In Duhon the Knicks get a guard hard-pressed to put up Larry Hughes-ish field goal percentages.
As Knick floor leadership transitions from The Great Escapegoat to a nigga who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with anything but his penis, there is one category in which Duhon won't leave any slack.
Yes, yours truly, Gregg Popabitch, attended the 2008 NBA Draft at Madison Square Garden. Your boy was rubbing elbows (not other bodily limbs, no homo) with basketball fans, NBA big wigs, and future household names.
David Lee's defense, or lack thereof. Characterized by a pervasive and apparent disdain for expending effort on the defensive end.
Cockface (n.) -
An affectionate nickname for Danilo "Il Gallo" Gallinari.
Marijuana (n.) -
spinach:Popeye :: marijauana:NBA players
Intern (n.) -
Slide piece. One who gets into the truck.
Niggaball (n.) -
A sport much like basketball, but covered in Lawry's Seasoned Salt. AND 1 Mixtape Tour. Basketball-esque performance severely lacking in fundamental skills. (see: Philip "Hot Sauce" Champion.)
Knicker Lover (n.)
One enamored with or otherwise supportive of the New York Knickerbockers.
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