The Zombie Apocalypse is Upon Us

By now, we all know that Wilson Chandler inadvertently bit David Lee in the arm and lost a tooth in the process. However, Lee hasn't played a single game since then.

Hmmmm.

Lee had to have his elbow surgically debrided twice in the past week to clean out the infections he got in Chandler's bite wound.

Wait. What?!

You read right. Wilson Chandler's mouth is so infested with bacteria, critters, and pests, that Lee had to have surgery on his elbow TWICE!

What could this possibly say about Mr. Potty Mouth? Well, maybe he should think about investing in some Scope or Listerine? I heard chicks really dig guys who floss.

But what if... Wilson Chandler is a... How do I put this without sounding completely insane?

What if Chandler is a zombie?

Yeah, that's right. I said it. Over the years, I have performed countless hours of research on zombies just in case I had to protect myself if the apocalpyse sprang upon us. And this is exactly how it starts. One innocent little bite... leading to an infection... which leads to major medical attention... which then leads to the patient dying. At that point, we can expect re-animation anywhere within a few minutes to a couple of days.

I know David Lee is not dead. He's perfectly fine according to Golden State's medical staff. But what if we were watching the game tonight and Lee looked more pale than usual? Say he starts shuffling out on to the court, starts randomly biting players, refs, or coaches. What do we do then?

Well, one thing is for sure. I hope he bites Eddy Curry. He's pretty much dead weight anyways. Why not make it official? Also, let's say hypothetically, Donnie Walsh was in Golden State tonight. He'd probably be safe. Why? Zombies don't like to feast on dead people and Donnie has been at Death's door for a good minute. Also, this would be good news for James Dolan, because the only way anyone would listen to the music of JD and the Sureshots would be if they were dead, deaf, or blind.

So we need to nip this in the bud immediately. Anyone who knows anything about zombies can tell you that their mouths are ripe with bacteria, infestation, and viruses (including the one virus that induces re-animation). Sooooooooo, what are we waiting for?

Someone grab a Glock 9 and blow Wilson's head off already!

Or, the Golden State medical staff could've immediately given David Lee some broad spectrum anti-biotics that day and avoided at least one of the surgeries. And I wouldn't have gone on this paranoid tangent that I am on right now.

But just in case, we need to closely monitor this situation. Otherwise, the Republicans will have something new they can blame Obama for.

Comments

[Ci]

Semi-serious, semi-douche idea ...

That might be a new grade of Herp.

[Chanel Watches]

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[birkenstock outlet]

Semi-serious, semi-douche idea ...

[birkenstock outlet]

Thanks for sharing

[MBT Sale]

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