An Exercise in Futility

No. I haven't been on suicide watch. I've actually come to expect this much awful from the New York Knicks. The shit doesn't even hurt anymore.

Tonight's Yahoo! front page only gets yesterday's debacle half-right. I watched [some of] this shit [before watching the first half of UNC's warrior training]. The Knicks didn't lose to the league-worst New Jersey Nets. They were demolished. Adding insult to the simultaneous knee and back injury that is losing by 20 to The Bad News Bears of basketball, The Proud Ones set a three-point shooting futility record.

Going 0-for-18 from behind the arc didn't even happen on my B-team middle school squad. Even if with divine intervention, one of us awkward tweens could bank in a straightaway 19-footer or some shit. Doesn't the greatest shooter Mike D'Antoni has ever seen play for this Knicks ball club?

For those who may not have been interested in subjecting themselves to recent indignities, Tracy McGrady is the New York Knicks' point guard. I've finally seen it all. I thought I'd seen about everything when I saw an elephant fly. This shit right here takes the cake.

I understand the notion of having a big lead guard. It worked for the Los Angeles Lakers with Rent-A-Center-ass Magic Johnson. Anfernee Hardaway played at a superstar level in this mold for as long as his knees didn't function like McGrady's. Even when they did, Hardaway remained a permanent fixture atop the All-Star vote tally and on front of the Honeycomb cereal box. I think he's still on that shit today. I have to check. I haven't bought Honeycomb since 2002. But, I swear he was still on the box then.

Alas. I digress. While I know his court vision and savvy make McGrady a good orchestrator, he will never be able to defend the point guard position. Fuck Chris Paul, Steve Nash and Deron Williams. Keeping up with even the Mike Bibbys and Jarrett Jacks of the world without blowing a gasket is an impossible feat for this shell of a star player.

D'Antoni plays McGrady at the point instead of utilizing Toney Douglas, one of three players on the current roster Knicker Lovers can expect to see next year for better or worse. Surely McGrady's assignment is not an effort to remain competitive for the playoffs. The Knicks have been on the fast-track to mathematical elimination for two whole months now. I'll be sure to watch this week's episode of the What the Fuck is Mike D'Antoni Thinking Show presented by Mercedes Benz. We deserve to know the method to this madness.

I would be all for some good, old-fashioned season flushing if the Knicks weren't plating the gold on Utah's ticket to the John Wall Sweepstakes. Given the harsh reality that all but a handful of players on the Knick roster have wasted an entire year of their lives, watching The Proud Ones play out the rest of this season is like watching grandma-nana suffer needlessly in a hospital bed.

We know what time it is. Why can't we just pull the plug? Send these so-called professional basketball players home to further neglect their many illegitimate children. Forfeit the rest of this season if all anyone at Madison Square Garden wants to do is wait for LeBron James thumb-in-ass. At least mercy killing would be the appropriate action and decisiveness to spite death-argy.

Comments

[sankofa]

I miss Anfernee.

[MBT Sale]

It's so nice to have you do all of the research for us. It makes our decision making so much easier!! Thanks.