Stephon Marbury's retirement from basketball has come to an end, Proud Ones. Huzzah!
The former NBA All-Star has signed with the Shanxi Zhongyu Brave Dragons of the Chinese Basketball Association. According to Yahoo! Sports, Marbury will earn a reported monthly salary of $25,000--a stark contrast from the $21 million he earned last season in the NBA.
Marbury's sacrifice in salary may not be just another weed-induced lapse in judgment. He expects to market his Starbury line of shoes and apparel to China's... umm... ginormous population.
[Blogger's Note: Speaking of weed, won't they waterboard him for smoking that shit out there?]
The fucked up part is that the plan makes absolute mathematical sense. Marbury just forgets to factor in that his potential customers make nicer shoes than his in their spare time. Why buy a $15 Starbury when you handcrafted a $1.37 LeBron James just 10 minutes ago, right?
Nice try, Steph. Marbury's better off trying to pitch a late night talk show to CCTV. He should get after it before Conan O'Brien does.
I do wonder what Marbury's infamous JustinTV stream is going to look like from China. The internet slave masters at Google suggest Chinese broadcasts and communication are tampered with. What the fuck would the censors make of Marbury tonguing down a container of petroleum jelly?
Starbury might be out there trying to break 500 million discount sneaker sales. But he might end up like Jim Kelly on Mr. Hahn's island doing all that crazy shit. Someone please remind Marbury that he won't be playing in Japan, where his foolishness would be fascinating and endearing.
I predict Marbury will be back in the states fogging up his Maybach by summer.
(Return to The Proud Franchise)
Selling Wolf tickets like..."remember Marbury? Me neither"
Posted by: sankofa | Friday, January 22, 2010 at 06:23 AM
It's so nice to have you do all of the research for us. It makes our decision making so much easier!! Thanks.
Posted by: MBT Sale | Thursday, August 11, 2011 at 07:29 AM